


shattered.

by Trashy_Cannot



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Character Study?, Gen, Maybe - Freeform, Other, and i had just finished the whitestone arc when i started this, i just wanted to write this, it was an interesting avenue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 19:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17086496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashy_Cannot/pseuds/Trashy_Cannot
Summary: At last, he found himself in those grassy plains, years ago.





	shattered.

  Caleb stood in front of his childhood home.

  Looking down at his hands, arcane light flitted across his fingertips, fire sparking and dying in a matter of seconds. There were no screams, but Trent, Astrid, and Edowulf stood next to him. This was the right place he needed to be. Even if he wasn’t with the Nein right now, he had to be _here_ , to fix this. Finally.

  The house was bathing itself in a fire.

  No, this was wrong.

  Caleb had torn reality asunder for this result, an incorrect one.

  Upon this realization, Caleb fell to his knees, waiting for the screams to begin. A dark well pooled at the bottom of his stomach, a harsh burn coating his eyes as he watched the countryside light up. A breath froze itself in the middle of his throat, ceasing to pass through. Panic set in sooner than he had remembered it did before. His mind seemed to pull away from his body.

  He failed. All of the death and time spent gathering what was needed and he _failed_.

  “I broke the world for us.” the distant murmur fell from his lips, ignoring the sidelong glance Astrid sent him.

  In his nightmares, screams haunted him. They were never identical, always ringing in a slightly different way every night, trapping Caleb in the same five minutes that he was in long ago. These same five minutes he was living through again, right now.

  This sequence of events, these five minutes, however, were exactly the same as his past, no flicker or crackle of flame dissimilar.

  His father’s plea for his mother and her winded response marked the beginning of these five minutes. Caleb’s face slacked. He could tell his classmates and Trent had moved closer to him, their eyes were still entranced by the flames he made. Trent chuckled and put a hand on his shoulder.

  “Good job. The empire has no need for traitors within its walls.”

  Caleb couldn’t help but feel disconnected from it all.

  The young man slumped to his knees, feeling a dull sense of pain thud in his heart, as the flames grew and sent a wave of heat towards the hillside-more than before. His compatriots took a step backward, but he couldn’t help but allow for the heat waft onto his face.

  Before the screams could fade too far into the crackling fire, they echoed, drawing Caleb’s gaze from the tear-dampened grass to his parents’ figures in front of him, translucent, barely fading, ghost-like forms. His knees were no longer being prickled by grass, and he was now on an inky, black void.

  Caleb’s throat clamped shut, hot tears streaming faster than they had before, as his gloved, dirty, _disgusting_ hand reached out, only to be stopped by an invisible wall.

  “I have _failed_ you…I…” Caleb could only trail his words, barely paying attention to what the figures were doing.

  They glanced at each other then back to him, eyes sunken.

  “No, mein son. You never can. Caleb,” his mother stooped down and looked into his eyes. “we love you, and you are not at fault. But you can’t leave your family, not after all of this time.”

   “Your teacher cannot be stopped here.” his father whispered. The bearded man rested a calloused hand on an invisible wall between the family, eyebrows knitted in mild unease.

  Caleb’s expression shifted into an uncomfortable purse of the lip. He pounded the side of his fist against the wall, ignoring the lack of sound, before matching it with his father’s.

  “Mother, please, I’ve done too much, I’m a _monster_. _Disgusting_. _Inhuman_. Did-do you know of how many times I’ve killed man and monster in a blaze? The same way I’ve done- _am doing_ with you? This was the only way I could change this mistake.”

     His father’s lips formed into an affectionate smile and placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder.

  “We are done living our lives, Caleb. You cannot change the past, no matter how much you read and scrounge together gold for more books.”

  Stilled silence gripped the moments after, Caleb’s hands, resting against the invisible barrier, balling into fists. Caleb forced his eyes shut, ignoring the tears that slipped out.

  “No.”

  Caleb saw his parents arm in arm, eyes brimmed with tears.

  “I’m sorry, Caleb.” they whispered.

  Leaning forward, they pushed through the wall that held the Widogasts apart, falling short to get the attention of their son. From there, they placed a hand on each side of his face, tilting his chin up and kissing his forehead like they used to do before his bedtime.

  Caleb could only half-heartedly whisper another _no_ before tears blurred his vision.

  Caleb watched as his parents faded away as blackened ash. The last part of their existence disappearing, their faces, silent tears streaming as a resounding echo permeated the inky darkness Caleb kneeled in.

  “We love you.”

  Caleb’s eyes snapped open, looking across the crackling to see a worried Beauregard ahead of him, poking the fire in an attempt to have the heat shake him from his groggy state.

  “Hey, you doing okay there? You should sleep. I got the rest of this watch, Widogast.” she offered, waving him off before he could retort.

  Caleb dragged his tired form through the dampened dirt, towards Nott’s tiny body. Looking around, he could see the people, his new _family_ , sleeping soundly. Caleb wistfully smiled, laying down next to her, pulling her close, and kissing her forehead. He pulled their bedroll over the two of them, ignoring the knowing smirk from his monk friend.

  Before fading fully into sleep, Caleb patted his pockets to see if the components to his most valuable spell were still there.

  He found his pockets empty.

**Author's Note:**

> How did you feel about that? I dunno, I felt that I could've done better but at this has been sitting on my laptop for a little over a month so I didn't really wanna keep tweaking it because there's no "perfect" fic. Honestly, this was just spurred by the whole "I broke the world for us" quote from Lady Briarwood and I wanted to twist it and have Caleb undergo an immense loss...again. Anyway, feedback is appreciated and someone please give me a prompt with these disaster children (especially after that [mild spoilers for episode 45] dragon). Yeah, Kudos and comment, but that's not a command or anything-I'ma stop. Bye.


End file.
